...line turned blue etc etc

Anyway, back to the pregnancy thing because there was a reason I was distracted away from this blog. I found out I was pregnant and I then found out I was more pregnant than I thought I was and I was shocked....for some reason shocked to the core. My partner, who incidentally definitely did not express any desire to have any more kids, thank you very much...well, he was thrilled, over the moon etc etc. I, who had always hankered after a 3rd, was shocked. The shock remained pretty much in place for quite a while; well panic set in as well. Y'see I was going to go back to work, we needed extra income and now? Well, we'd have to move and get a bigger car and I still hadn't cleaned that bloody cupboard and we had no money: the list went on. Well I got the money thing sorted; I'd just save really hard. I did find out that those of us who are not entitled to SMP but have worked can get Maternity Allowance; this must be the best kept benefit secret going...the amount of times I rang job centre plus to gleam information only to meet with dead ends... (admittedly I did have an overwhelming amount of questions to ask; I like to dot the i's so to speak) so that was ok. But if you should happen to find yourself in need of this benefit look at Directgov website. So I trundled on feeling sick, worrying about finances,the kids etc; gradually feeling better, starting to see some positivity then...the depression set in. It's a long story and it was a struggle